I struggle with having photos taken but I thought, ‘oh, sod it!’
Summer walk around the local lake
Some jam cocktail
Equally as tasty pineapple cocktail
My most favourite picture of the loser
The colours got me. I’m a sucker for a typical ‘white girl’ photo
Actually happily let someone take a photo of me. It’s been years since this has happened (probably kid age)
I’ll upload more as weeks go by. I promise.
I very rarely post here, the reason why is that since I last posted:
I left my job at B&Q and from my second year of hairdressing. I’d started to see a therapist and learn mindfulness and practice it myself. Depression/Anxiety sucks arse, but so is life and for some of us here, we do have mental health problems that come along or it’s been there but without you being aware of it.
Why I’ve explained the mental health now? Basically, I have my passions, I’ll get interested in something and then come back to it months down the line, or a year later. I have times where I lose interest in the things I loved (not literally all… just that I lose touch of what I like doing in my spare time, hobbies, taking care of myself, spending time with others, some of these moments, I would much rather be here on my own.)
I do know that I’m explaining this in a very dark light.. (I believe I am… hah), but it’s how I get this mental health stuff out to those I know. Most don’t understand it, unfortunatly.
Everyone should be aware of it, so when the time comes for them when it may get difficult up in that place, they’ll be more prepared to rid of those thoughts and feelings.
NOW, however… I am brilliant! I’m currently a Business Admin at the company I helped fill in for one Thursday in the Summer. I’d never done any office work before and as I was looking for a job… I took a chance and applied to their latest Apprentice spot, got an interview and got myself the job.
I’ve been there since mid December, basically four months now, and I wouldn’t change it for the world at this moment. I’ve gotten myself into this routine, with joining the gym in town, too.
Then I have my weekends together.
So much do I look for the weekends!
If it hadn’t been for the choosing to leave B&Q and studying hairdressing, for having the confidence to make those decisions and ‘start again’, for getting the help I knew I had needed for quite a few years now, for going into something so new and challenging, I wouldn’t be how I am now and who I am now.
I’m not saying everything is perfect. Nothing is really ‘perfect’, as cliche as that may sound.
I have those days when I feel bizarre in my own body, my mind doesn’t have the happiness it did say… five days ago. Last week I could’ve been feeling so confidently about myself and loved with every ounce of my heart. Excelling in work and bossing the day.
Days where I’m one place and another place hours later.
But, the most important thing is that I am ever so slightly, better at controlling my negative mind and the anxiousness I feel and the physical side effects that come with it.
I can now see patterns and sort of plan to take extra care of myself so to make the ride easier that week when my mind does shout at me. (Not literally!)
I love better, my relationship with my family is stronger, I see myself in a lighter way, I have interest in things again, I wanna go places more than usual, more intrigued and definitely better at communicating my feelings and thoughts.
Okay, time to wind down and sleep ready for the early morning, 6am wake-up call.
More gym time tomorrow, warm-up, CARDIO and COOOL down. Slow and steady wins the race. (I’m a sloth, really…)
I’ll make sure that I do come back and post more content. XOXO